Cyclocross

 

Team NO was hatched when pre-registering for the first race of the season.  I entered "NO" in the slot for team name, and here we are.  We have just one member and our credo is NO!, unless the question is "beer?".  Team NO jerseys are scarce, so I stuck with an O jersey instead.

 

The new Troll is definitely not a cyclocross bike.  It's heavy and doesn't have gears.  But it's nimble and comfortable and accommodates super fat tires.

 

Cyclocross is a fun way to get some exercise while occasionally drinking beer and improving your off-road handling skills. A typical race starts lining up with at least a hundred other women, of several different categories. I am in category five, which is a nice promotion from my usual category six racing.

  

I took last place in almost every time, except for costume day when I managed to beat six whole racers.  I dressed to match my basket that day, which must've really given me an edge.  Or mayhaps it was the whipped cream and whiskey shots fed to me at the beachy part of the course.

 

Race organizers use existing land formations or build new obstacles to challenge racers.  These can range from stairs to wooden hurdles to gigantic muddy rooty "run ups". The stairs at Bend, which are actually railroad ties used as landscaping, are least 20" tall, and there are a dozen of them.  Somehow I kind of managed to struggle up them on every lap instead of taking the bailout path.

 

The format of cyclocross racing makes it perfect for athletes of many levels.  Faster, more experienced racers are given the extra obstacle of slower, less experienced racers while everyone picks their way through gravel and sand and mud.  Racers only need to ride for forty-five minutes.  For many, that means completing five laps.  For Team NO, that translates to three laps.

Cyclocross is all about friends and strangers shouting at you, heckling you, cheering you and even pouring beer down your gullet.  Here are my favorite heckles of the season (all directed at Team NO):

"Is that bike a dog?  'Cuz you're walkin' it like one!"

"Hey honey, will get me some milk while you're out?"

"Do you have that milk in your basket" (same guy, later race!)

"You need to put some TRY HARD in your basket!"

"If you hurry, you can still make the cat show!"

 "It's weird, 'cuz she's so fast on the road" (a comment I overheard!)

Coffeeneuring-a-go-go

Coffeeneuring is seven years old!  It's a challenge not dissimilar to the Society of Three Speeds challenge, where one must ride a bicycle, (in this case, any bicycle), to a cafe, or a park to make coffee outdoors, or a friend's home where they serve coffee.  Riders must ride at least a mile to their destination, may not repeat destinations, and may drink hot cocoa instead. This is an excellent opportunity to get more involved in the randonneuring coffee-loving community without pouring on tons of miles, or kilometers. The best part is the requirement to document, or blog the each coffeeneur ride.

Ride One - Saturday 10/14

Seven of us met at Water Avenue Coffee for Portland's Coffeeneur Kick Off, to enjoy coffee together, compare notes on our Coffeeneuring plans, and generally chit chat.  I rode my new single speed bike, which is my cyclocross bike for this season.  I chose this bike not because of its rad punk rock-looking fork with its dozen of studs, or its sexy drop bars, or even its brand spankin new bright white basket, but because the gearing is way too hard and I needed to go to the bike shop to get it changed on the way home.  I paid $2.50 for a (refillable) mug of coffee, and it was delicious.  After asking about sweeteners, the barista slipped me two yellow envelopes of splenda as if they were contraband, and put her fingers up to her lips "sshhhh".

Ride Two - Sunday, 10/22

I rode to Heart Coffee, a new cafe exactly one mile from my home, and fourteen short miles away from the cyclocross races at Heron Lakes.  I waited several minutes for a lady and her dog to do  their poop dance before I could take this photo of my bicycle in front of the cafe.  After shooting the photo, I had the opportunity to wait for them again while he peed on the bike rack.

The house coffee was pretty good, and cost $3 (no refills).  The condiment bar was austere, offering only stevia or organic imported locally-sourced free range sugar.  There's a trend at Portland coffee house to enforce their "purity" on their future ex-customers, and this place is on the bandwagon.  Not even secret splenda.  I like my coffee the way I like it, dammit.

Ride Three - Friday, 10/27

It seemed appropriate to ride the three speed Ross for my third coffeeneur ride.  The weather was nice enough to enjoy the patio at First Cup, which is situated exactly 1 ½ miles from home.  I ordered a house coffee, which was perfect.  The coffee was only $2 and the condiment bar was fully stocked with everything anyone could ever want from a condiment bar.

Ride Four - Friday, 11/3

The maroon Miyata mixte came out to play for coffeeneur ride number four.  The weather defied the rainy forecast, staying dry and sunny all day.  My destination, a mere 2 miles from home, is my favorite diner, and has not yet been found (and ruined) by hipsters.  Therefore, I am compelled to keep this location top secret.  Coffee was $2.25 with unlimited refills, which were delivered on time and cheerfully to my table by a seasoned waitress with a pink apron.  Condiment offerings were  bountiful, and the greasy spoon breakfast was perfect fuel for a fifty mile non-coffeeneuring ride that afternoon.

Ride Five - Saturday, 11/11

 

It was an eight mile ride on a beautifully dry and cool day to Dean's HomeStyle Cafe in Clackamas.  A house that looks like it could be your grandma's was filled with tables which were filled with families enjoying lots of scrumptious food.  No less than three people asked me emphatically if I was sure all I'd have is a coffee.  The coffee was pretty okay and cost $2.  There were probably bottomless refills but I was full. 

One of the best parts of this ride is the new bike path I found, which heads east from the 205 path and parallels highway 212.  The other best part was the old man who stopped to chat as I unlocked my bike.  He spied the "fast" sticker on my bike and pointed at it.  "Is that true?".  I said yes, sometimes.  He told me he's had some strokes and moves slowly nowadays.  He served in the Korean War and everything's been easy since then.  As he shuffled away, the time on my odometer read 11:11.

Ride Six- Friday, 11/17

 

I celebrated my sixth coffeeneur trip with a peppermint latte, which set me back $3.50 and was not available in a mug.  It had been a sunny eight mile trip to Bob's Red Mill, but my phone showed green blobs of rain headed my way, so I slammed my latte, grabbed my bag of wheat and hightailed it home.

Ride Seven - Saturday, 11/18

At last, my own personal coffeeneur finale!  I rode four miles to Palio Cafe near Ladd's Addition, which was also the meet point of the Wombat Alley Cat.  I don't know how much the coffee cost because after a ten minute wait I just left a $5 bill on the counter and served myself.  They had plenty of condiments, and I've had plenty of fun riding around drinking coffee.  Thanks, Chasing Mailboxes!