Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Spoke Card Rules, Part Two


When you are handed a spoke card, it is your duty to immediately put it on your bike, unless you have radially laced wheels.  If that's the case, you can wait until later and use teensy zip ties to attach it to the spokes, at your own risk. 


Proper spoke card installation requires a slight spreading of the spokes so that each half of the spoke card is safely nestled between two spokes.  Unless you use this method, your spoke card is likely to fly away as you ride away.

 
I prefer spoke cards to be centered on the non drive side of the rear wheel, across from the valve stem.  To each their own, but this is the best method.


If you must double up on spoke cards, place them opposite each other but reading the same direction.  And, always, but always, and only, place spoke cards on the bike you rode for the ride the spoke card was designed for.


That concludes today's special pedantic message.  See you at Pedalpalooza!




Monday, May 15, 2017

Tour de Beavs, part SIX!

We've developed a few fun traditions in the six years since we first hatched the idea of an all ladies weekend ride to Corvallis.  One is to stop and pose for pictures in front of the KEEP OUT tunnel.  One day maybe we'll peek inside.
Another is to stop and share a bottle of champagne, which used to be stashed in a secret location, but this year, Head Beaver Linda actually toted it out for us in her top tube bag.
We enjoy long leisurely rest stops at our regroup points.  Getting lost isn't deliberate, but seems to happen every year.
We've agreed on a new tradition of allowing me to select a different brew pub for Saturday lunch every year, triggered by learning that the ten miles from Gilgamesh Brew House to River Road is pretty hilly and narrow and curvy.

Until next year, "Lightly loaded ladies on your left"!


Saturday, May 6, 2017

Shakin It Down

Photo credit: Paula Funatake
The day started out a bit rough.  A mere glance at the GT Backwoods, fondly referred to as "my Outback bike", revealed play in the hub.  A lot of play, and not the good kind. Luckily, Linda was on hand and able to tighten everything down.  My shifting sucked the whole weekend, but I later learned that was due to a bent derailleur hanger.  This is why we have shakedown rides - to reveal problems with gear.

The gang all met in the 'Poose, as per planned, and we were off to the liquor store by 10:15am, only a smidge later than scheduled.  Once we stocked up on necessary supplies, we headed up to the Crown Zellerbach Trail, or the CZT. 
At first the CZT is a nice little paved path, not dissimilar from the Springwater Corridor.  After a little while, the pavement starts to degrade and little pebbles take its place.  Soon it's only pebbles.  The eight of us arrived at Cater Road without incident and began the climb up to Boozer.

Ah, Boozer Road.  It's gravel, it's past a blue gate, and it all started years ago during the Randonnerd BS (Brevet Series) when we were scouring the map for fun road names.  Turns out Boozer is more than just a cool name, it's a cool place with tantalizing views and permission to tip one before noon.
Photo credit: Paula Funatake
Because logging roads often change shape, we found ourselves exploring spurs that led nowhere.  We u-turned several times, and finally found ourselves on the way to the Yankton Store.  I have many good memories from randonneuring days, eating pie and hiding out on the porch from all sorts of weather.

We climbed some rolling hills on the paved portion of Pittsburg Road, then said goodbye to the tarmac and hello to a surface I like to call "beginner gravel".  It's actually paved, but hasn't been maintained except to be covered in friendly pea-sized gravel.  My hand drawn map indicated we just had four miles on Pittsburg, but it was fourteen, so I must've left the "1" off.
Two angry snarling dogs, like those who guard the gates to hell, gave chase and tried to take a chunk of my calf as a souvenir.  So, I dug deep down and got my Alpha Bitch voice out.  I was still hoarse days later, but those dogs whimpered home.

Arriving at Apiary, we happily climbed up the couple miles to Camp Wilkerson, where the camp host told me the "Adirondacks" (their term for leantos) were closed and they didn't have my reservation.  I looked back at seven solemn faces and asked if finding my reservation on the phone would change anything.  Suddenly she found it and directed us to our spot.  She warned us of a wedding and that some guests may trudge through our campsite on the way to the parking lot.

True to her word, we did see a few people make their way through our sweet little site.  One of them was the bride and we stopped her to compliment her badass bride style of combining a traditional white dress with hiking boots and a denim jacket.  I joked that we should crash the wedding later for free booze.
Photo credit: Paula Funatake
I stuck some candles in some cookies and blew up a balloon to wish one of our group a happy birthday.  Everyone ate dinner, comparing cookstoves and sharing tips.  I learned that the MSR fuel canisters have a chart on the side showing how to figure out how much fuel is left, by floating the tank in water.  Who knew?

We cheer-led, directed and critiqued first one fire starter, then another.  We enjoyed Fire and Ice cocktails, along with beer dragged all the way out there in a fork-mounted growler.  We sat a little out of the rain and a little too far from the campfire to feel its heat, so decided to move the whole business.  Soon our swill was gone and my old joke about wedding crashing came around again.
Photo credit: Paula Funatake
Four of us ventured into the dark and across to the wedding hall, which was dark and quiet.  We crept into a side door and along a hallway.  As expected, there were big jugs of beer and no one around to drink them.  We heard voices and I panicked.  "ABORT! Abort mission!".  We ran out, and two dark silhouettes pursued.  "Hey!  Are you the bikers?  We have extra beer for you!".  Yes, Virginia, there really is a unicorn.

The next morning we took off to find Camp 10 Road.  I've seen and admired this line on the map and have been dying to try it for some time.  When we found it, it looked pretty steep and very unmaintained.  As it had been raining for the last hundred or so days, we decided against Camp 10 Road and continued on Apiary to Highway 47 and the CZ trailhead.

Parts of the CZT were muddy and there were several downed logs.  One rider, on a single speed mountain bike with a backpack, handily bunny hopped two logs while ducking under another.  My knees weakened at the sight of this.
A great adventure was had by all.  We shook down not just our gear and bikes and campstoves, but our team.  It's a grand team comprised of many types of riders and we'll all be conquering the Oregon Out 'n Back later this month together, so stay tuned.  Or, unplug, and join us!








Monday, May 1, 2017

April Three Speed Ride

April has come and gone, and so has the Society of Three Speeds' April Challenge, without yours truly completing it.  There were five parts to the challenge.  One: ride fifteen miles.  Two: ride five off road miles.  Three: ride up a big hill.  Four: Make coffee outside.  Five: Ride to an overnight destination.

The hosts of an April 1st party themed "Turn it up to Eleven" agreed to turn it back down to three the next day and join the Society of Three Speeds for a romp.  My plan was to camp in their yard to complete part five of the challenge, until I learned that the overnight requirement was not to camp, but to travel to a overnight destination other than a friend's house. I slept over anyway and the next day my gracious friends fed me and we all hopped on our sweet three speed bicycles to meet the group at a new park in Northeast Portland, named the Khunamokwst.
A nice sized gang gathered and ogled each others' bikes, while our leader, Shawn, instructed us on the ride and the rules of the challenge.  Then off we went on a twenty mile country ramble through urban landscapes.  We rode on unimproved roads, gravel roads, and even single track.  We climbed a huge hill, stopped to make coffee and even rode on a nice little dirt pump track.  All on our vintage three speeds, and dressed nicely for the day.
After all the bike fun, we stopped for beer and dinner and learned that we'd all completed parts one through four of the challenge during today's ride.  Alas, the rest of my April weekends were already busy and I didn't know how I could possibly complete part five - the overnight.

I brainstormed with my friend Emee, who dubbed us the Three Speed Queens, and she suggested we throw caution to the wind and stay at a McMenamin's on a school night.  The plan was made and so was the reservation.  Then I fell sick, quite sick, and postponed it a few days.  Still sick, we had to cancel altogether.  And then April ran out.  I'm sad to have "failed" at completing the challenge but glad to have "won" at kicking off spring on a sweet steed with some rad riders.

Thursday, April 27, 2017

MH

Spring was proceeding with its usual vigor.  I was amped up and ramping up while watching, or dot-watching, the IPWR. The Indian Pacific Wheel Race is an annual self-supported bike race across the southern coast of Australia and attracts the world's top level ultra endurance athletes.  This includes one of my personal bike mentors, Nathan Jones, the organizer of the TransAm bike race, inventor of a little race called the Steens Mazama 1000, and a badass athlete himself.

Nathan had tucked the IPWR into the back pocket of his own personal trans world quest.  So I dot-watched and cheered and commented and was inspired by the derring-do of Nathan and these other cycling legends.  I watched MH chase KA across the map, and enjoyed the comments theorizing on why and how and where every rider was.  The MH dot stopped moving for a while.  He must be sleeping.  I kept checking and finally saw an ominous yet vague announcement from the race organizers that they'd keep us updated on an incident.  Later that evening, the race was called off and the incident was  reported as the death of Mike Hall.
There's a certain gripping grief that comes when a stranger you admire dies.  When the stranger is a celebrity to you, a legend of your own sport, a friend of many of your friends, and the loss is tragic and unnecessary.  A car crash.  I don't care about the details, I only care that someone good is gone and that cars continue to take away good people, whether from the inside or the outside, and it's all normalized into "accidents".  F that.

"The show must go on" often translates to athletic events, but in this case, the IPWR organizers decided to fade to black.  Drop the curtains, the show is over.  There's no more going on now, we've lost one of our own and he'll never come back.  Fin.

I have utmost respect for the racers that did continue to ride, and can barely imagine the pain and emotional trauma this whole story created.  Everyone reacts differently.  For me, blubbering publicly about a man I only met once seemed perfectly appropriate.
The following week, Velocult hosted a sweet memorial get together for Mike.  They had a slide show with inspirational pictures of this heroic rider, and a book to sign, which would be sent to his family.  I was honored to receive a small sticker, which I immediately put on my bike.  Tailwinds, MH, and thanks for the inspiration.





Saturday, April 8, 2017

Freds vs Fasties

We all know what a Fred is: a dorky cyclist in spandex, likely wearing a mirror sticking out from his face, a fluorescent yellow jacket and tight tights.  There are many strata of Freds, from the clubbies to the commuters to the weekend warriors, to those who've never even heard the term Fred.

When Freds are finished being Freds, they either retire to the couch or move on to become Fasties.  These Fasties regularly follow "the rules", often without even knowing about them.  Their equipment is top notch and well-maintained.  Their bodies are fit from cycling, as well as cross-training.  They wear precisely the right kit for conditions.

When I showed up to my first Sauvie Shootout, I already knew I'd be the lone Fred, or Wilma, among a group of sharp Fasties.  I arrived five minutes early, prepared as well as I could be for the rain.  My bike was equipped with full fenders, including buddy flaps.  I wore a wool layer under my raincoat, water resistant bibs and booties.  Like a baby, I was fully swaddled and ready to squall.

Everyone was friendly, despite their serious athletic looks, and we rolled out just after 9am.  I managed to stay with the group as we wove our way through the Pearl District to that steep little downhill leading to Saint Helens Road and Highway 30.  The stale green light the Fasties enjoyed was red for me.

In the ride description, the leader suggested the inevitable flat tire sufferers ride the Island in a counter-clockwise direction so finding the group would be easy.  I saw one, then another, road side flat fixers.  Courtesy demands cyclists offer each other assistance, but I knew these riders had it all so I just said hello.  Finally, many raindrops later, I arrived on the island and decided to ride counter-clockwise, even though I hadn't been slowed down by a flat. 

It was a very wet day.  The rain never let up, the road was good and soaked, and many lowland fields had become nice little lakes.  Continuing on, huffing and puffing, I pushed to chase the invisible nemesis of the group.  They appeared on the horizon, like a speedy little wagon, a posse of five or six riders almost blind from pouring on the effort. 

Another dude fixing a flat appeared in the ditch. About ten minutes later, he passed me.  A few minutes after that, a drizzle of riders chasing the initial pack went by in the other direction.  Everyone looked blurry to me. 

I had planned to skip the store, but saw another flatted rider there, so I stopped to say hello.  His frame pump's mouth had been uncovered and full of grit so he gratefully borrowed my tiny travel pump.  I'll blame that few minute hiatus for the group beating me off the island after their two laps to my one.

Aptly named, the Sauvie Shootout is like a small caravan riding like they're being chased, losing riders along the way and never looking back.  I was glad to get my heart rate up, eat a fat slice of humble pie, and get shot off the back by the Fasties, and I can't wait to go again.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Russian River Ride, circa 1997

I wasn't yet a messenger when I was invited to join my first Russian River Ride, the traditional bike messenger ride to where else, the Russian River.

We met at Harvey's downtown.  Harvey was the entrepreneur of a small convenience store in a ghettoey area of downtown and he generously allowed bike messengers to purchase snacks and drinks on store credit, and consume them in his alley.  He was such a hero to bike messengers, many referred to him as Saint Harvey.

We'd head through Golden Gate Park and across the bridge, down the hill into Sausalinto, out past Petaluma and finally, after about 80 miles, into a big grassy and somewhat muddy area right alongside the Russian River.  I'm still unsure on why we were allowed to camp there, but we were.

I was so intimidated that first year, by the athleticism of the messengers. and by the distance of 80 miles  I put 80 small dashes on a little piece of paper and taped it to my handlebars, so I could visualize 80 miles.
The day went well, and was not without surprises.  One of the best happened past Petaluma, in what felt like the middle of nowhere.  Surrounded by beautiful Sonoma county rolling meadows and farmlands, it seemed pretty far away from everything.  There was a small building on the horizon, and there was a healthy sized bike pile in front, so I pulled over and went in.  Turns out it was a little divey bar, the kind with dollar bills pinned all over the ceiling.  Tradition calls for us to each down a shot before going on our way.
The rest of the ride that day is a little hazy to me, but I made it.  There was a huge group, maybe 100 of us, and we had a really fun weekend.  I'll never forget chewing a huge piece of strawberry bubble gum and swimming back and forth across the river.  I dragged a big innertube and gave people rides to the other shore and back.  I dubbed myself "messenger of the river".

The ride back was easier, probably because we jumped on the Larkspur ferry back to the city.  The ferry folks let us make a giant bike pile out on the bow.  The boat ride was one of the best parts of the weekend, and always made me feel a bit sentimental, even nostalgic, as we came back into San Francisco


Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Unfinished Business in the Dalles


Like a baby fawn, my legs and knees wobbled.  Delicate and weak, the poor little sticks could barely support the bloated beer belly which Father Winter gifted me.  A pathetic picture, to be sure, but look closer.  There, past the long curly eyelashes, is a teensy little glimmer.  A glimmer that holds promise for the future and the potential to rediscover lost muscle memory.  A glimmer that can see past the cold, dark depression of this most terrible winter, and see into summer.

Nonetheless, the legs fumble.  They try to pedal, try to remember circles.  The brain tries to push them into overdrive.  Just when we're about to fail, a small waft of some heavenly floral scent drifts by.  A glimpse of a blooming daffodil seals the deal.  We (me and my legs) are back!  Or we will be back soon anyway.

The rain started Saturday morning outside of Holstein's Coffee in the Dalles, just as riders were beginning to queue up.  Together, we made quite a rainbow of riders.  We were fat and skinny (although everyone would claim the former), different colors - skin and kits, road bikes with 23mm wide tires, cyclocross bikes, mountain bikes, fat bikes, even bikes with full loads - ostensibly for the Dalles Mountain Mutiny.

I read a great quote in an email forum about this 8th annual Velodirt ride that very morning: "If you can't handle it on 28s, you can't handle life".  The 28 is referring to tire width, of course.  Our day would be filled with gravel, dirt, mud, slippery slidey roads that were only more so as the day, and the rain, wore on.

I estimate 150 of us rode out at 10am, but I've been known to overestimate.  I doubt I was the only one who missed Donnie's calm, even quiet, announcement "let's head out".  But, we left just the same.

Thanks to social media, or this blog, or possibly my basket, several riders recognized me and even shouted my full name.  One lovely gentleman exclaimed "BASKET"! and I instantly remembered him as one of my supportive hecklers last 'cross season.  More friends, more hugs, lots of self-deprecation later, we embarked up the first, and longest, gravelly climb of the day.

Unbelievably, I encountered a rider who introduced himself as William.  I took a chance and asked if he was the originator of my new favorite quote about not being able to handle life if you can't handle 28s.  I'm not sure who was more astonished - me or him - that yes, indeed, he was the genius who came up with that little tidbit.

Up, up, up.  Passed by Mielle, who was slowly escorting another rider, and informed me I smell like strawberries.  I won't deny it; it's my natural scent.  An old co-worker.  A couple in t-shirts.  Up, up, up.  Soon, I saw my pal Luke, who had given me a ride to the ride.  I was almost to the top and he was coming my way.

Luke is one of those super fast and fit riders who always describe their riding as slow and their body as out of shape.  I couldn't understand how I could possibly be catching up to him.  He was wearing a blue coat, which matched his skin nicely.  Turns out he was hypothermic and making a smart decision to turn back and get down to a lower, warmer elevation quickly.

He apologized and I pretended not to be thrilled to be turning back, and down we went.  My new brake pads squeal loudly, so my shame in being a chicken ass descender was underlined nicely.  We barely saw a soul on the way down, that's how far back in the pack I was.

The rain and cold continued, the descent lingered on and on, and I finally had to stop for a salty snack.  I ate quickly and sloppily and my mood improved immediately.  Almost to the bottom, I saw Luke again.  Poor guy was freezing his bejesus off.

Back down the hill, back over the bridge, back to town and back to the brew pub.  We passed a few riders who'd completed the ride, which is nothing short of amazing.  Halfway into our first beers, the Texan walked in to the bar.  I haven't seen him in at least a year and we had a jolly time swapping stories and dreaming about future rides.  And, bonus, we now have unfinished business, out in the Dalles.



 

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Oregon Out 'N Back

So, you've always wanted to ride the Oregon Outback, but you're not into the ginormous headwind in the home stretch to the gorge.  Or maybe you just want easy logistics!   Whatever the case, you might consider joining this bastardization of the Oregon Outback, called the Oregon Out 'N Back.

We'll head out from Klamath Falls at 8am on the Friday, May 26th, and spend five or six days exploring the OC&E trail, the Cowboy Dinner Tree, Fort Rock and maybe even the Crooked River if you're fast enough.  Stay tuned for more specifics on the exact depart location.


Speaking of the Cowboy Dinner Tree, you'll need reservations.  Dinner (which they don't allow you to split) includes: salad, soup, sweet yeast rolls, 30 oz (!) steak, baked potato and fixins, desert, coffee/tea/pink lemonade. It costs $35, cash only, and that includes tip.  The atmosphere is authentic old west, the meat is from their own ranch, the service is adorably accommodating and the food is delicious.  To reserve, call 541 576 2426.  My posse is eating at 6:30pm Saturday.

We'll turn back when appropriate to finish at Klamath Falls, enabling us to take the train both ways. Because it's an out and back, riders can choose their distance and turn back any time they like. 

There are two rules. Leave no trace and bring no car.  I cannot emphasize enough the importance of following these.  If you'd like to ride the route and have a car meet you along the way, great, just please pick a different week to do it and don't rain on our car-free parade. 

This is a create your own adventure. This is also a SELF SUPPORTED CAR-FREE event. No support is offered, gather all the millions of information available on line so you might survive. Most of all, don't sue me if things go sideways.



Here's a possible route: https://ridewithgps.com/routes/17839578

We're planning a shakedown ride the last weekend of April, from Scappoose to Wilkerson:
https://www.facebook.com/events/770921619723037/ 


We've already gotten press!



 

Sunday, February 26, 2017

French Toast February


A good-sized gang showed up at my place Saturday morning for french toast.  We had a great time catching up, eating toast, drinking way too much coffee and even touring my newly "renovated" basement.

We headed down the hill and onto the path.  Pedaling felt hard and even weird.  My legs felt like they had been moth-eaten while in some forgotten storage outpost.  Anthony captured the feeling, which we all shared, saying these are our "Winter Edition" selves.

Between a depressing and frightening political climate, an unusual frequency of snowmageddons here in Portland, and general laziness brought on by malaise, guts have gotten pudgy and legs gooey.

Luckily, nothing is forever, and we kept pedaling anyway.  We stopped at Linneman station to find the bathroom doors locked.  The too much coffee sensation started to elevate into a where's a potty feeling.  Anyway, I've emailed the city of Gresham and I'm sure they'll get right on it.

A rider peeled off.  The sun shone.  The rain did not fall.  Nor the snow.  The wind did not blow.  It was exquisite to feel that old sensation of hurtling forward through space and smelling nature between giant inhalations of car exhaust.  I wish people would limit or stop driving, but that's a fantasy for another post.

We regrouped at the Sandy River, near the Stark Street Bridge, and split into two groups, reminiscent of when the motley crew of ring questers in the Lord of the Rings had to part ways.  Onward and upward, up and around and down the hill, we regrouped again near the Troutdale bridge.

After a nice bathroom and playground stop, we crossed the Sandy River yet again, using the river valley as our own bicycle playground.  We were lucky to find our way across the new bike path and onto the old secret bike path.

Marine Drive makes my legs itch so I pedaled harder.  Following our theme of regrouping near bridges, we put a foot down at the 205 Bridge before heading south to Velocult, where I pretty much spent the weekend.

After sandwiches and sushi and goodbyes, some other friends descended on Velocult to remind me of our Oregon Out N Back planning meeting.  In case you haven't heard of that, it's a bastardization of the Oregon Outback.  We'll start in Klamath Falls the Friday before Memorial Day, head north until it's time to turn around, and finish in Klamath Falls six days later.  For more information: http://rideoregonride.com/diy-adventure-oregon-outback/